To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
I try never to give false hope, for I have learned for myself, the pain will last until you die. There are days that life goes on as it should, you can laugh and smile, but then there are the others. The days when the pain of your child's deaths, even years later hits you, leaving you feeling as though you have lost your breath.
Today is one of those days for me. The short time of her life so long ago now seems to have broken down to a few quick flashes of memories in my mind. Each year less and less of my child remains in my mind. For the longest time I could recall ever bit of her life, and every moment from her death.
I try so hard to be strong, to not show my emotions. Because when I break, it does not just take a moment to recover from the heart ache, it takes what seems forever.
It becomes larger than my daughter, it rolls over into ever aspect of my world, and consumes my emotions.
Years never make the world better, it is a scar that will always be there.